fuckyeahtf2:

Some helpful hints and tips sprays courtesy of AmazingKai on Reddit.

Interested in making your own? Here’s what the template looks like, and here’s a download for the template itself.

femgie-flames:

Are you sure?

skippractice:

maybe she’s barn with it

maybe it’s neighbelline

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Making shippy valentines is fun guys. I’m just sayin’

little-miss-lalonde:

little-miss-lalonde

I am starting a FULL homestuck ask blog!

This means EVERY character from homestuck!

I will be taking “auditions” and I will be picking the best cosplayers for the job, this means I will need a picture! and then you will need to make up a question and then answer it! You can audition either by email : little_miss_lalonde@yahoo.com or by sending/submitting it to me I will go through all the auditions and then if you are chosen I will send you a link to the ask blog. After everyone is chosen I will allow the blog to be unpassword protected so people can begin following it. Auditions are due by March 1st for Main characters and March 10th for “minor” characters.

MAKE SURE YOU INCLUDE YOUR TUMBLR USERNAME!

You are allowed to audition for more than one character and will be allowed to get more than one part if I see that you qualify for the part.

I NEED YOUR EMAIL IN ORDER TO ADD YOU IF YOU GET IN!

Good Luck and get those entries in!

( If you need my skype, you can audition there too! —> little-miss-lalonde )

nerdyy-maddy:

arachno-phobic:

lol my teacher is hilarious 

I need this teacher

queenaglaia:

royal-blue-caribou:

puellaandy:

gamzees-pile-of-horns:

bakassassin:

toni-tan:

thatsmoderatelyraven:

My mom said that if this post gets 500,000+ notes, then i can get a fluffy chicken like this one

WHO CHANGED THE PICTURE TO OVERLY SEXUALISED SONIC

i cANT BREATHRER

thats no oversexualised sonic, thats STRONGGLYPUFF

THAT’S SPAIN’S ASS

wHY IS JIMMY NUETRON A CHICKEN 

WHAT’S GOInG ON IN THIS POST

pyrosammi:

Reblog if you want a Doctor Claude Snugglins the TeddyMedic doodle!!
Your submit box must be open, and I will do this for everyone who does reblog BY MARCH 5TH!
All Snugglins doodles will look different!!
C:

asharkjugglingapineapple:

faun-songs:

brodingershat:

I’m looking at the silhouettes in this update and-

Did Dirk just carry his goddamn katana out of an incinerated planet?

Is that what just happened?

It’s fact: not even death can part this fucker from his blade.

(It’s also legitimately indestructible.)

“It’s fact: not even death can part this fucker from his blade.”

yeah last time even dave couldnt pull it out

You! Corner! Now!

kiddiestuck:

Morningnoon

pawfulmess:

thIS IS MY NEW FAV QUOTE